Matrescence
The profound and continuously unfolding process of becoming a mother.
Mothers deserve to be treated gently and intentionally. We need support that puts respectful listening of the heart, mind, body and spirit at the core of our care. Based on my own healing experience along the path of parenthood, I have sought to become a resource for parents as a trauma-informed, social justice motherhood supporter.
With full respect for each individual’s potential for healing, along with somatic tools, solutions focused strategies, and the symbolic tools of storytelling, ritual and ceremony, I help mothers move into new perspectives and actions based on their story of motherhood.
THE ASPECTS OF MATRESCENCE THAT BENEFIT FROM TENDER-HEARTED SUPPORT:
PRE-CONCEPTION: Generational experiences of birth and loss that impact a mother’s confidence.
CONCEPTION: Infertility, conflicted feelings, lack of choice, lack of support.
PREGNANCY: Difficulties, miscarriage, stillbirth, abortion, termination for medical reasons.
BIRTH: Lack of support, highly medicalized, traumatic events.
POSTPARTUM: Mother/baby separation, lack of support system, breastfeeding/chestfeeding difficulties, medical challenges, delayed development.
Parenting
Celebrate fiercely, grieve fully, calibrating constantly on the path of parenting.
AS PARENTS, WE HAVE 4 ROLES TO FILL WITH OUR CHILDREN:
WE ARE THEIR APPRECIATORS: They need us to delight in them, want to connect with them and be their biggest fans.
WE ARE THEIR ANCHORS: They need us to help regulate them as they navigate the many ups and downs of growing.
WE ARE THEIR PROTECTORS: They need us to advocate for them by setting limits, with them and the world on their behalf.
WE ARE THEIR GUIDES: They need the positive influence of our values, beliefs, and hopes for them and ourselves.
Each of these 4 roles are vital for our children, but it’s not so easy to maintain our ability to be each role when our emotional tension and strained parent-child relationship impacts our judgement and capacity . Learning to be in relationship with our child is a journey!
As a mother, educator, and certified parenting instructor I am passionate about helping parents address the needs in their families. With both my personal experience as a mother and my long-time work supporting children and families by addressing mindset, utilizing connection strategies, and incorporating symbolic ways of navigating developmental milestones, I help families move through relationship difficulties into a place of nurturing connection.
My Philosophy
My parenting work, based on the Hand in Hand Parenting approach, comes with these assumptions:
> When children feel connected, they learn readily, love easily, and become caring leaders among their peers. A healthy parent-child connection enables a child to fully access their intelligence and ability.
> When parents feel connected with their children and with other parents, they have greater success at solving problems at the heart of family and community life. Parenting becomes more fun, and more rewarding.
> When children’s behavior goes “off track,” they are asking for closeness, connection and understanding. Parents can use the tools of Special Time, Playlistening, Setting Limits or Staylistening to rebuild the connection with their children. The child offloads stress, reconnects, and can then make thoughtful decisions and learn from their experience.
> When emotional stress sends parents' behavior "off track," they need the support of a listener who appreciates how much they care and how hard they try. Parents need the safety to offload feelings that interfere with their ability to guide their children with love and sensible limits, kindly held.
“Listening to feelings can mend deep rifts between parent and child.
Listening to children with love relieves their hearts, and most often, clears their behavior as well.”
-PATTY WIPFLER, FOUNDER OF HAND IN HAND PARENTING